Our New Online Boutique Now Open!

Me and my friend Boryang recently opened an online boutique "Oh So Chic!". Please Visit us and enjoy shopping!

Coookie Lessons...

This is a post from my cousin's multiply site.
Thanks Ate Mikee for the story! Panakaw ;-)

A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport.











Sometimes (or maybe most of the time) we all have the tendency to be self-centered, selfish, egocentric, etc......
Let's all take time to reflect on the following...

Self Sufficiency the Answer to Codependency.

"Do you love me because you need me? or Do you need me because you love me?"

For some, it's just a mushy phrase but for others, it could mean that they are trapped in a "Codependent Relationship" .

They say, codependency is an emotional disorder affecting persons from all walks of life. We only need to take a closer look on the motivations and expectations of people in their lives and relationships to be able to determine if they are codependent.

"Codependency occurs when two people form a relationship with each other because neither feels that he or she can "stand alone." Neither person feels capable or self-reliant. It is as if two half parts are trying to make a whole. Both partners are seeking to become psychologically complete by binding the other partner to themselves."

I have this friend, she falls in love with this guy, and despite of the complexity of their relationship, the financial difficulties and the infidelities of the guy, she still clings to him. During most of their arguments, she would always threaten to leave him, but eventually she would take her words back. Saying because she loves him, that she couldn't bring herself to face the loneliness of being single again and because she feels that somehow she's financially dependent on this guy. But most of all, she strongly believes that he would change.

In this typical codependent relationship my friend serves as the caretaker, she stays in the relationship for she feels a sense of purpose (she thought that she would be able to make the guy change for the better) However, she may also be hanging on with him to avoid her own unhappiness and personal issues, to overcome her fears of being alone.

"Caretakers are the ones who suffers from low self-esteem and have a certain predictable way of thinking, feeling and behaving. This means that from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem, they try desperately to hold on to the people they are addicted to using codependent behavior. They will do anything to “take care” of their partners in the hope that they will not leave—or that someday they will reciprocate. Caretakers tend to give, to get."

The guy on the otherhand also claims that he love my friend, he gave her everything, lavished her with gifts and would even buy things for her even if they couldn't afford it. He's the typical nice guy, super-friendly and someone who doesn't know how to say no. He could be tagged as a perfect partner except for his infidelities.


The guy now plays the Taker part of the relationship, I believe that he uses my friend's love for him and her weaknesses to dominate her. Maybe he cares about her but his love for himself is greater. He would treat her coldly at one point then be so loving and caring the next day, because he cannot let her go too, for he needs her to satisfy his hunger for acceptance and reassurance.

"Takers are commonly of the Narcissists type, they use dominance, seduction and withholding to control their partners. Narcissists won’t put up with anything that interferes with their happiness. They are self-absorbed and their low self-esteem is masked by their grandiosity. "

In a codependent relationships, we would often hear the lines "We need each other," we make up for each other’s weaknesses, and most often this is why people in a codependent relationship never learned to overcome their weaknesses, because they end up continually looking for partners that will complete them.

To escape the cycle of ending into a codependent relationship we must learn to take responsibility for ourselves, we must learn how to be self-sufficient, how to provide for ourself, we must learn how to be independent.

" The highest form of human relationship is between two independent people."

"When you no longer need anything from your partner, you can focus on giving. When you are no longer depending on them to come through for you, you can forgive them when they don’t. When you no longer need them to make you complete, you can appreciate them for who they are, flaws and all."

I myself, had been once a part of a codependent relationship (had been the caretaker too) and I could say that it's a really draining experience, you'll end up slowly losing yourself, for you are continuously giving out everything. The good thing, I was able to leave before I completely lose myself. I've learned that to be able to give love, I must first learn to love myself and no one could complete me, but me. ;-)

Resources:
Co-dependent Relationships
Codependent Relationships
Enabling and codependency

Why Do I Love PayPerPost?

I just applied for PayPerPost and I am sure that I would love it dearly. This is my first official try on monetizing my blog and I am looking forward not just for the earnings but also for the possibility of gaining new friends or "posties". I am also looking forward on learning more how to put some ads on my blogand broaden my knowledge on blogging and internet marketing. I have read so many good reviews about PayPerPost and I could say that PayPerPost is much more than a putting ads on your blog it's the coolest and most profitable way of gaining friends in the blogosphere. Come Join PayPerPost and Spread the Love!

Surviving a Cluttered Life

Do you have the feeling that your life's currently messed up?

I stumble upon Lifehack.org and they have a pretty good list of 10 simple ways to save us from messing up our lives.

Waaah! I am guilty of not practicing most of it... tsk tsk tsk no wonder why I am always stressed out. Ha ha! Anway, I guess, I better apply all these in my daily life from now on.

Stop taking so much notice of how you feel.
How you feel is how you feel. It’ll pass soon. What you’re thinking is what you’re thinking. It’ll go too.

Let go of worrying.
It often makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen.

Ease up on the internal life commentary.
If you want to be happy, stop telling yourself you’re miserable.

Take no notice of your inner critic.
Judging yourself is pointless. Judging others is half-witted.

Give up on feeling guilty.
Guilt changes nothing. It may make you feel you’re accepting responsibility, but it can’t produce anything new in your life.

Stop being concerned what the rest of the world says about you.
Nasty people can’t make you mad. Nice people can’t make you happy. Events or people are simply events or people. Remember, most people are far too busy thinking about themselves and worrying what you are are thinking and saying about them, to be concerned about you.

Stop keeping score.
Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers. No one is competing with you.

Don’t be concerned that your life and career aren’t working out the way you planned.
The closer you stick to any plan, the quicker you’ll go wrong. The world changes constantly.

Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions.
To hold yourself responsible for someone else’s success and happiness demeans them and proves you’ve lost the plot. It’s their life. They have to live it. We can’t do it for them.

Don’t worry about about your personality.
You don’t really have one. Personality, like ego, is a concept invented by your mind. It doesn’t exist in the real world. Personality is a word for the general impression that you give through your words and actions. If your personality isn’t likeable today, don’t worry. You can always change it, so long as you allow yourself to do so.

10 Habits to Develop for Financial Stability and Success

I am currently working on my quest for financial freedom and I am so glad to find this Financial Tips at Zen Habits.


1. Make savings automagical. This should be your top priority, especially if you don’t have a solid emergency fund yet. Make it the first bill you pay each payday, by having a set amount automatically transferred from your checking account to your savings (try an online savings account). Don’t even think about this transaction — just make sure it happens, each and every payday.

I am trying my best now to save, but I guess I shouldn't just try, but make this my priority.

2. Control your impulse spending. The biggest problem for many of us. Impulse spending, on eating out and shopping and online purchases, is a big drain on our finances, the biggest budget breaker for many, and a sure way to be in dire financial straits. See Monitor Your Impulse Spending for more tips.

I don't do my shopping and groceries now, I am an impulse buyer, I usually end up buying things we don't really need. But I guess I have to learn to control myself, I cannot make other people do our shopping forever. :-)

3. Evaluate your expenses, and live frugally. If you’ve never tracked your expenses, try the One Month Challenge. Then evaluate how you’re spending your money, and see what you can cut out or reduce. Decide if each expense is absolutely necessary, then eliminate the unnecessary. See How I Save Money for more. Also read 30 ways to save $1 a day.

I always track my expenses, but I have this bad habit of marking everything as "absolutely necessary". ;-)

4. Invest in your future. If you’re young, you probably don’t think about retirement much. But it’s important. Even if you think you can always plan for retirement later, do it now. The growth of your investments over time will be amazing if you start in your 20s. Start by increasing your 401(k) to the maximum of your company’s match, if that’s available to you. After that, the best bet is probably a Roth IRA. Do a little research, but whatever you do, start now!

5. Keep your family secure. The first step is to save for an emergency fund, so that if anything happens, you’ve got the money. If you have a spouse and/or dependents, you should definitely get life insurance and make a will — as soon as possible! Also research other insurance, such as homeowner’s or renter’s insurance.

6. Eliminate and avoid debt. If you’ve got credit cards, personal loans, or other such debt, you need to start a debt elimination plan. List out your debts and arrange them in order from smallest balance at the top to largest at the bottom. Then focus on the debt at the top, putting as much as you can into it, even if it’s just $40-50 extra (more would be better). When that amount is paid off, celebrate! Then take the total amount you were paying (say $70 minimum payment plus the $50 extra for a total of $120) and add that to the minimum payment of the next largest debt. Continue this process, with your extra amount snowballing as you go along, until you pay off all your debts. This could take several years, but it’s a very rewarding process, and very necessary.

I already gave up all my credit cards, hmmm... actually my hubby made me gave it up and I have no choice. Waaaah! :-(

7. Use the envelope system. This is a simple system to keep track of how much money you have for spending. Let’s say you set aside three amounts in your budget each payday — one for gas, one for groceries, one for eating out. Withdraw those amounts on payday, and put them in three separate envelopes. That way, you can easily track how much you have left for each of these expenses, and when you run out of money, you know it immediately. You don’t overspend in these categories. If you regularly run out too fast, you may need to rethink your budget.

8. Pay bills immediately, or automagically. One good habit is to pay bills as soon as they come in. Also, as much as possible, try to get your bills to be paid through automatic deduction. For those that can’t, use your bank’s online check system to make regular automatic payments. This way, all of your regular expenses in your budget are taken care of.


9. Read about personal finances. The more you educate yourself, the better your finances will be.

10. Look to grow your net worth. Do whatever you can to improve your net worth, either by reducing your debt, increasing your savings, or increasing your income, or all of the above. Look for new ways to make money, or to get paid more for what you do. Over the course of months, if you calculate your net worth each month, you’ll see it grow. And that feels great.

Happy Tuesday!

7 Simple Ways to A Productive Day

"Productivity is being able to do things that you were never able to do before."
-Franz Kafka

1. Plan Ahead.
Think of the things that you want to achieve the next day.

2. Create a To-Do List.
Accomplish the things you wrote down one by one, or as you list it. Cross out the ones you already finished.

3. Schedule your projects accordingly.
Schedule your task according to your biological clock. (e.g if you are a morning person then schedule your most important task during the day.)

4. Cut the clutter.
Clean up your workspace, it'll help you get things done more easily. Less mess, lesser the stress.

5. Focus.
Avoid unecessary interruptions.

6. Delegate
Trying to do everything reduces your productivity and prevents you from achieving your goals. It'll also help you feel less exhausted at the end of the day.

7. Make sure that at the end of the day you were able to get something done.
Should you fail to accomplish all your day's task, don't fret, your just human afterall. Just move all the unfinished task to your next day To-Do list.

Happy Productivity Monday to All!

Living Better with Pain

"We cannot learn without pain."
-Aristotle

Feeling pain reminds us that we are alive. It helps us grow, if we do not feel pain, we would never realize that something's wrong with our lives. Pain serves as our wake-up call, a bell that rings every time we make a mistake, It tells us when to stop, It helps us feel, it helps us love more, it provide us strength to carry on.

Pain teaches us to change, to strive for more, to keep on going, to keep on improving. If we only take time to reflect on the events where pain saves us from hurting ourselves further, we'll realize that in life, pain have always been our savior.

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain"
-William Faulkner

Blogging for Fun and Some Extra Cash!

While browsing around, I stumbled into Bloggerwave.com, I was enticed to signup and I was so happy that I was able to get my blogs approved at Bloggerwave in just a few hours. Now, I am really excited to be a part of and hopefully grow with it.

If you’re a newbie to the blogging world like me, this one's for you. It’s simple and easy to use, just click on an "open opportunity", and blog about it. I never realized that monetizing your blog could be this fun!

Hurray for Bloggerwave!

Technorati's Fave Link Train

This is originally posted on my other blog and I think I should post it here too. And of course, I already added my other blog on the new fave list. :-)

I saw this at CarlOCab and I think it's a pretty cool way to build up links and find blog friends.

Here are the rules:

1) Write a short introduction paragraph about what how you found the list and include a link to the blog that referred you to the list.

2) COPY the Rules and ENTIRE list below and post it to your blog. To avoid duplicate content and increase the amount of keywords your site can accessible for, go ahead and change the title of the blog. Just don’t change the links of the blog.

3) Take “My New Faves” and move them into the “The Original Faves” list.

4) Add 3 Blogs that you’ve just added to your Technorati Favorites to the “My New Faves” section. Remember to also add the “Fave Me” link next to your new blogs (http://technorati.com/faves?sub=addfavbtn&add=http://www.example.com)

5) Add Everyone on this list to your Technorati Favorites List by clicking on “Fave the Site.” Those who want good kharma will fave you back. If not, you will for sure get the benefits of faves from the bloggers who continue this list after you.ˆ

My New Faves:

Bittersweet Coffee - FaveSite
SELaplana - Fave the Site
Tainted Song - Fave the Site
Liza's Eyeview - Fave the Site
P.W.I.T. - Fave the Site

Originals:

WMhaven - Fave the Site
Earn money Blogging - Fave the Site
Hardcore strategies to make money online - Fave the Site
If ya Want to Make Money - Fave the Site
India Pr Blog - Fave the Site
Turn one pound into a million - Fave the Site
Make Money Online with some useless info - Fave the Site
High Paying Keywords - Fave the Site
Make Money Online with a 13-year old - Fave the Site
Pond Perspective - Fave the Site
East Coast Life - Fave the Site
Culture Shiok! - Fave the Site
Fruity Oaty - Fave the Site
Michael McKinlay - Fave the Site
Nice4Rice Free Backlinks - Fave the Site
Work at Home, Make Money Online - Fave the Site
Web 2.0, Tech Reviews - Fave the Site
Wireless LAN Security - Fave the Site
Bobs [ReformatThis] - Fave the Site
Everyday Weekender - Fave the Site
Armen’s Blog - Fave the Site
Gary Lee - Fave the Site
Dosh Dosh - Fave the Site
Nate Whitehill - Fave the Site
Ms. Danielle - Fave the Site
Jeff Kee - Fave the Site
Scribble on the Wall - Fave the Site
Jimi Morrisons Head - Fave the Site
Jon Lee - Fave the Site
Samanathon - Fave the Site
Eat Drink & Be Merry - Fave the Site
The Man of Silver - Fave the Site
Hannes Johnson - Fave the Site
My Dandelion Patch - Fave the Site
Nathan Drach - Fave the Site
SiteLogic - Fave the Site
Julies Journal - Fave the Site
Stephen Fung - Fave the Site
Ed Lau - Fave the Site
QMusings - Fave the Site

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Pacman After the Election

I got this funny picture of Pacman from a friend's forwarded email. (Sorry if some would consider this post offensive, I just find the picture amusing.) In fairness to Manny Pacquio, I love him in the Boxing Ring but never in Congress.

A Portrait of Pacman after the 2007 Election

Mothers... What rules the World!

They say that man is mighty;
He governs the land and sea,
He wields a mighty scepter
O'er lesser powers that be.
But a mightier power and stronger
Man from his throne has hurled,
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world."



~~ William Ross Wallace.

Guile's 10th Birthday and his 2-night Sleepover Party

The week long celebration...

April 17 2007, (Tuesday) being a weekday, James won't be able to come home because he's got work, and I need to be in Manila that day too for an important meeting. So we just made arrangement with Guile that we'll celebrate his birthday party Saturday, April 21, 2007. Being a very understanding kid, he readily agreed but of course with the condition that we will give him money to treat his friends for a snack at the mall and let them play at the arcades.

April 18, 2007 ( Wednesday ) The kids had their first sleepover at our place.

Their first day activities includes, playing bowling with their Loloy, according to dad everyone played very well, but Jonas scored the highest at 114. After bowling, the kids had their request of Adobo dinner then after having their supper "Super Daddy" ( John2's dad) fetch them for a ride at 7-11 and bought them their midnight snacks. Everyone went home with chips, drinks, candies and chocolates ( as in total snacks galore! ) so now, they have their excuse to stay late, sabi nga nila " Tita, pano kami mag midnight snack kung matutulog kami ng maaga?" So? how will I reason to that now huh? having no choice, hay... I let them stay up late. They played unending computer games and PS2 and only went to bed around 3:30 AM, everyone's tired (I can see it in their droopy eyes) but they kept on giggling, telling stories and making jokes while in bed and I only had my peace and finally heard the zzzzzz... sound around 4AM.


April 19 (Thursday)

On the second day, I treated them for a movie, I bought 3 TMNT tickets and their Lolay gave them additional money for snacks. After the movie they went home for more computer and playstation games. After dinner "Super Daddy" once again picked them up to buy their midnight snacks, but this time, I didn't let them stay up too late, I bargained with them that I will let them tinker with my mac "Chantal" let them surf the net and update their friendster accounts but with a promise that they will sleep early. Thank God for my bargaining skills! ;-)

Lesson learned:

Having 3 hyperactive kids in the house is sure lot of fun! but also no big joke! (me and our maid almost lost our sanity he he he.) I am sure glad that I only have one, but I wouldn't mind having the 3 of them from time to time. :-)

Then finally Saturday, April 21, 2007


He had a party at home with his close friends, Kuya Jonathan, Jonas and John John

and of course with his Loloy and Lolay.

We had a simple dinner of my Mom's Sinigang na Hipon, Crispy Pata, Fried Spring Rolls and Arroz Valenciana.

For more pictures: Guile's 10th Birthday

Summer Getaway! Part 1: Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte

It's been 5 years since the last time I visited Ilocos, it's when the whole family went on a long road trip along with then my "Poulex Supermarket" staff. This Holy Week, when my CRDC staff asked for a company outing, I immediately suggested "Pagudpud" for I have been longing to come back and rediscover the scenic beauty of the place and at the same time visit the "sights" that we missed the last time we were there.

We left Cabanatuan at around 11:00 PM, knowing that the trip normally last 8-10 hours depending on your travel speed, traffic and how long your bathroom stop over are. My companions mostly slept during the trip and woke up only when we entered Ilocos Norte at around 5:00 AM. Our first destination for our trip is "Pagudpud" but we decided to explore first the tourist spots that we would pass by. We arrived in Burgos, Ilocos Norte around 6:30 AM and tried our luck if Cape Bojeador is already open for tours, luckily we've crossed path with Manong Jun, the caretaker. He's off to the town already but he gladly went back and gave us a tour (Thanks Mang Jun!)... now, our Ilocos adventure's on! yey! :-D

Faro Cabo or Cape Bojeador is set majestically on a hill overlooking the South China Sea, It was built in 1892 and is one of the famous historical landmark of the province of Ilocos Norte. According to Manong Jun, he lits up the lighthouse at 6:00 PM and turn if off by 6:00 AM.

Going up to the top of Cape Bojeador was so tiring, but the sight up there is simply magical, and would surely make up for the exhausting climb on the narrow spiral staircase of the lighthouse.

Along the way, we saw the giant windmills, with luck on our side again we were able to view the windmills up close because our driver knows where to turn to reach this Bangui coast with the giant "electric fans" as my son says.

Bangui Wind Farm is the largest wind park in Southeast Asia. 15 x 1.65 MW gigantic windmills are located in a 4km stretch of coast on Bangui Bay. The windmills are really awesome!

We reached Pagudpud at around 8:00 AM, hmmm still early... ding! since I failed to visit Patapat Viaduct the first time we went to Pagudpud and I vowed not to miss it again, I suggested that we tour the Patapat Viaduct first before going to the beach.

Patapat Viaduct,
an elevated concrete highway along the winding/rocky headlands at the northernmost section of Ilocos Norte. When in Patapat, it will give you a great view of the Pasaleng Bay that leads up to the South China Sea.

Well, the trip to Patapat Viaduct is really worth the extra minutes of travel, for you would be mesmerized by its awesome beauty…

and along the Patapat Highway we came across this scenic park...

Agua Grande is a picnic park with a stream of crystal clear running water from the mountains that leads to the sea. They also have an infinity pool of natural spring water.

After having some pictures in the viaduct and Agua Grande we went to Maira-Ira Beach, or commonly known as,

The Blue Lagoon

" Luzon's white sand and bluest water conspire majestically to be situated in one place. " - Lonely Planet 9th Edition

On calm days, when the notorious Ilocos surf is taking a break, the waters of the cove can be still as a pond, mirroring the azure sky to form a stunning blue loch.

But when we were there, the waves are really acting up, it's scary to swim so we just played with the waves and build sand castles...

Finally, after several Scenic Spot Stop-Overs and Photo Sessions, off we go to our original destination...

Saud Beach
Saud boasts of a beautiful white beach with clear blue water, it is one of pagudpud's vast beaches along with Maira-Ira and Panzzian.

Coconut palm-backed Saud Beach is where the resorts like Saud Beach Resort, Arinaya, Polaris, Tera Rika, etc are located.

We paid the entrance fee and rented a cottage at Saud Beach Resort and finally had our lunch there. After our sumptous meal of adobo, binagoongan and chicken feet, Joey and Tess relaxed at the cottage, Daisy, Abby, Jen and Harold tour the beach, Guile played and build more sand castles, and James pretended to be watching out for Guile but actually have been girl watching.. while I, was at the van catching some sleep. :-D

Everyone enjoyed the clear blue waters of Saud Beach and took pleasure as we watched the beautiful sunset on the beach...

After a day well spent, we, then head back to Laoag City for the night.

(to be continued...)